Resting is something I struggle to do at times. It’s so incredible important though.
Being overly busy is a trauma response I am all too familiar with. Feeling the need to be busy all the time is a trauma response and fear-based distraction from what you’d be forced to acknowledge and feel if you slowed down.
I lost my dad when I was 15 years old. The following school year I was in every extracurricular activity I could be in, I academically lettered (I struggled in school before this), I varsity lettered in both dance team and concert choir. I was also working as a manager at subway, and honestly working more hours than any 16 year old should.
This is my first moment I can pick out this kind of busyness and avoiding slowing down to feel. It’s not the last time I experienced this either.
I still hear from others I do too much or they don’t know how I do it all. Honestly, it’s kinda like I’ve been wired this way. I find I’m more productive the busier I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t rest. I have learned how to be mindful of my schedule, manage my time, ask for help but I still need to be constantly aware of this.
If you also find this to be how your wired, and especially if you have experienced trauma, here is a list of ways to slow down and rest.
Time away (did you say vacay?!)
Permission to not be helpful (for my people pleasers)
Something “unproductive” (tv, video games, etc.)
Connection to art and nature (MY FAV)
Solitude to recharge (my not so fav... social butterfly here)
A break from responsibilities (adulting is hard)
Stillness to decompress (slowly getting better at this)
Safe space (@thehivemn)
Alone time at home (does cleaning count?)
I hope you find some humor in how I relate to some of these. Rest. We need it. It’s ok to slow down and I see and hear you when you feel it’s hard to do so.